Hanging On

Haiz, Today is a sunday, my off day. Don't think it really made a difference anyway. Monday to Sunday, there's no difference. I still ended up alone. doing nothing, just by myself.

I just told him that I'm a little upset that he knows i'm off this Sunday and he still made so much plans. plans that doesn't include me. Plans that I only get to know last night. If he could have told me earlier. It's okie with me if he wants to do anything. Soccer or his driving. but let me know. Dun let me be the last to know. what about me? Ya. I know, I know you have no time at all the whole week. I know you are busy at work. But me? You mean I'm not. At least when I know you are occuppied, I can go get something done on my own.

I can stay at my own home to accompany me mum. Find my friends to go out with me. Rather than staying at your house with nothing to do. I'm stressing out trying to keep sane.


It just doesn't feel right. The whole thing, I dun know. It seems like he's so far away. It seems like he doesn't care about me. I dun know. If he really does, he did a good job not showing it. He hardlys touch me, we hardly go out as a date, we hardly talk.


We are always with his friends, in one big group. It feels like we are just friends. I dun know. I'm too afraid to think. If only, if only he talks to me more. If only he will hold me in his arms more. If only he will sweet talk nothings to me. If only.


I can't remember the last time he gave me approval for something I did. The last time he told me I look nice in something.


I'm a loser.


Life's Jus A Dreamz, Or Nightmare U decide